arrived in Dublin

so i made it to dublin. i am stopping here for a few days and to bring in the new year before i head on to Switzerland. Pete and Curt decided to come along, and i am so very glad to have them here. we have certainly enjoyed ourselves thus far...

first a flight to NYC. then a layover... we had enough time to go out into the city and walk around, eat some pizza, enjoy the company of each other... a cab ride or two... so i may or may not get motion sick, which you wouldn't think since i lived in almost constant migration on a moving vehicle for the last few years. i was so very glad to get back to the airport... 

wrapped in the excitement of it all i woke sunday morning, stayed up all night until monday, flew out monday and arrived early tuesday in Dublin without ever sleeping on the plane. i was so excited to get into a bed... however that was not an option. our room would not be ready until 2 or 3 in the afternoon. it was not quite 9 am. so we wandered. what a beautiful wandering it was. we enjoyed some breakfast (for 2 hours) and some stillness. however the stillness and the exhaustion met and we again took to our wanderings. i truly like Dublin, or at least what i have seen this far. 

i got in bed around half 2 (2:30) dublin time... 8:30am nashville time, 47 hours since i got out of my bed at my sister's house in west nash. i got up for about an hour to have dinner, and it is now almost 5 in the morning here and i just woke up. beautiful. 

i can say that i am excited for this journey. i am excited to grow. i am excited to become...

listen to the music of life. dance with it's rhythm. enjoy it's company. today i live. 

oh the blessing

So i wrote a blog about being alone... i want to clarify... 1. it was late. 2. i am not heartbroken, was, a long time ago. 3. i am sooooooo Loved. 4. i am sooooooo loved. 

allow me to elaborate. 

there are times in life when we build things up and we fret and we begin to believe things that simply aren't true. over these last few weeks of preparing to go, i began to worry that i would be ever so alone on this journey. 

HOW WRONG I WAS!!!

this past sunday i was overwhelmed in e-mails, "i love yous," prayers, hugs and tears. the outpouring of love in my life is so wonderful i could simply drown in the joy of it all. to know that so many will keep me in their thoughts and prayers over the next months (and even years) is to know how alone i am not. 

so thank you to all who are walking this journey with me. my heart is glad and my mind is humbled.

the inaugural thoughts

so here it is. my first blogger blog. in a world filled with blogs, opinions and ideas, what make mine unique? why are mine so special? i am not sure really. in fact, i don't know much these days. not much at all. 

i am about 28 1/2 hours from departing from this fair homeland of mine. i am off on yet another grand adventure... i am off to discover, not more of the world (although that is a nice bonus), but more of myself. i am leaving a town where i have been loved, where i have laughed, where i have cried, where i have become who i am. 

it is 2:34 in the morning and i am struck with a cruel reality. i am alone. it is the holidays and it is so ever present. not alone in the all encompassing sense. no, i am loved dearly by many... but alone in a different sense. i am leaving this town in which i have almost been married twice. as the time approaches for my departure, someone told me of the impending engagement of the man i was to marry. my heart is in a strange, strange place. while i know that it was not meant to be for many reasons, i am still saddened with my oneness. my mom asked me earlier this week if i was afraid of being loved, to which i replied,  "(insert word) yeah i am." only once in my life did i allow someone to love me, all of me, and they left. what is that to say of who i am? that is a question i don't know if i want answered. i am leaving this town with the pain it has brought, but also i am leaving this town with all the joy i have experienced here as well. it is bittersweet for sure...

so here i sit. about to go and face this loneliness in a whole new aspect, and i don't know what to do with it. it will be hard, this is inevitable, but it will be good. my heart is open. i long to be loved. i long to be me. i long to be loved as i am.

can i say what i will learn? no. but i can say that i will miss those who have loved me well. my friends, my family, my family of friends. 

to those of you who have loved me in my darkest hours and brightest days, i will miss you dearly. you have been my strength and my compass towards the love of an Almighty God. 

Thank you.